So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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