you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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