Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
