I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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