We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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