then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he shaved USA in his pubs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
