So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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