Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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