Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
