Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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