He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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