I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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