she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
