I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
