where am i from again
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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