Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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