Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
