i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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