Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
accomplished twins. life is a go
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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