So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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