i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
