called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
