I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
