she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
