I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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