I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize