He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
