If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize