My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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