Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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