Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
