I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
