it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
