At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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