I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize