Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
