she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We smell like vodka and hangover
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize