No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
