dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
