The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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