i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
that is very illegal...i love you.
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