There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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