Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
