Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize