my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
