Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
