I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize