i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
