So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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