Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
