At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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