Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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