I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
