It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
