it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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