I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sorry my hands just texted you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
