two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
