Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
