i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
