your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
