we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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