I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Girls should come with a carfax report
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
