Buhtt sex?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
