Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
love makes seman taste better
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
