She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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