That's intense
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
