Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
