You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
worst night to have a conscience
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
